Text 3: Looking back, looking forwards…

This is the true story of 18-year-old Marie a young woman living in Johannesburg, South Africa. This is the third and final part of Marie’s story.

  “I was one of the lucky ones,” Marie says, “because I didn’t go to trial and I didn’t go to jail. I was put in a Diversion programme, run by the people at the NGO (non-governmental organisation) Khulisa. The case against me has been withdrawn completely. I’m that lucky.

  “Of course my bail conditions meant that I had to go into rehab and make a proper go of it - not like the other times - and that was one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to go through. I looked dreadful. I hated the way I looked. I knew I couldn’t go on like I had done, but going through rehab was unbelievably tough. Physically tough, because you get terrible diarrhoea, you sweat, you shake, you feel as if you’ve got a major hangover, you get these unbearable pains in your legs.

  “And mentally tough, too. The hallucinations. I mean, there I am in rehab with my teddy bear for company, and he’s telling me to go out and find more drugs. He’s saying, “Break me open and you’ll find drugs inside me.” Everywhere you look you hear and see all these things about drugs. Two worlds of pain. The pain in your body, and the pain in your mind.

  “Even now, I still have these dreams about drugs, tempting me. I think those dreams might always be with me. I’m not a recovered addict. I call myself a recovering addict. I’ve been clean for five months, now, but I know I have to take it one day at a time.

  “Perhaps the hardest part is what lies ahead. My dreams have all been shattered. I have to find a way of getting people to trust me again. When I was on drugs, there was even a time when my boyfriend wanted my mom to take me back, but she refused. No space in her home, she said. And I know that wasn’t true. Now I’m living with her, and we still have a long way to go to heal the wounds. It’s never going to be easy. If something around the house goes missing, I know her first thought is still that I stole it. I also don’t have much to do with my dad anymore. He’s given me up as a lost cause.

  “But, hey, I’ve crossed some big bridges, too. There was a time when all I had was my anger. I’ve got past that. I’ve forgiven myself. That’s a bit of a victory. And I have been given the opportunity by Khulisa* to become a role model.

  “You think only heroes can be role models? Well, I can be a role model. I’m 18, and I’ve been to hell, and I’ve come back. I’m in this world, now, and I mean to stay here.”

*Khulisa is a non-governmental organisation that specialises in helping young people who have turned to crime to pay for their drug addiction.

Answer the following questions:

• At the beginning of the passage Marie says, “I was one of the lucky ones”. What does she mean?
• Her bail conditions were very strict. For the first time she had to treat rehab very seriously. Why was this “…one of the toughest things I’ve ever done”?
• Describe the mental effects of going into rehab.
• In Text 3, how long has Marie been off drugs?
• What is Marie’s relationship with her adoptive mother and biological father?
• At the end of Text 3 Marie describes herself as a ‘role model’. What does she mean?

ANSWERS

• Marie says she “one of the lucky ones” because she didn’t go to court to be tried for her crimes and she was put on a programme to help her get off drugs.
• In the past she did not complete the rehabilitation programmes she went on. This time was different: she had to complete the programme which was hard both physically and mentally.
• She had hallucinations – her teddy bear spoke to her – and she kept thinking (and wanting) drugs.
• Five months.
• Marie’s relationship with her adoptive mother is difficult. Her mother doesn’t trust her and it is difficult to rebuild that trust. Her father now has very little to do with Marie: he thinks she cannot be cured of her drug addiction.
• A role model is a person who other people respect and look up to. Marie thinks that if she stays off drugs she will be a role model for other drug addicts; proof that a person can be cured of drug addiction.